Monday, December 23, 2019

Bastard Hack Character Creation

1. Roll 3d6 Stats, in order.

3  • -3
4-6 • -2
7-9 • -1
10-11 • 0
12-14 • +1
15-17 • +2
18 • +3

2. Roll a race. 
RACES (most of these are from Die Trying) :
1-10. Human • +1 to 2 stats of your choice.
11-12. Halfling • +1 WIS - You can talk to small animals.
13-14. Elf • +1 INT - Never need to sleep. Also cannibalism.
15-16. Dwarf • +1 CON - Dungeon Architecture (you can sometimes tell how many floors are in a dungeon, how thick a given wall is, etc.)
17. Tiefling/Mutant/Cursed - +1 CHA - Roll 1d4 random mutations.
18. Gnome • +1 INT - Invisibility when you close your eyes, hold your breath, and don't move.
19. Goblin • +1 DEX - Carnivore. You can smell half as well as you can see.

20. Unusual Races :
1. Undead • -1d4 to each stat. - 1d4 Stat damage instead of death; when you hit 0 in any stat you become skeletal and insane.
2. Frogman • +1 STR - Long sticky tongue, can swallow people whole. Dry out quickly without water.
3. Lizardman • +1 DEX - Can consume rotten food and brackish water. Save vs. Hypothermia if you can’t get warm in the morning.
4. Kobold • +1 DEX - Always know immediately when a trap you’ve set has been sprung. Must always attempt to acquire shinies.
5. Orc • +1 STR - Turn 1 save or die/major wound into a scar. Only works once.
6. Troll • +1 STR - Regenerate 1 HP/minute. Vulnerable to fire. Save or turn to stone when exposed to direct sunlight.

3. Roll once for starting class. 
This determines Hit Die and gives you one thing from the backgrounds table.
1. Witch • 1d6 HD (see 1. below)
2. Cleric • 1d6 HD (see 2. below)
3. Cultist • 1d6 HD (see 3 below)
4. Wizard • 1d4 HD (see 4. below)
5. Warlock • 1d4 HD (see 5. below)
6. Druid • 1d6 HD (see 6. below)
7. Wanderer • 1d8 HD (see 7. below)
8. Fighter • 1d10 HD (see 8. below)
9. Knight • 1d10 HD (see 9. below)
10. Barbarian • 1d12 HD (see 10. below)
11. Rogue • 1d8 HD (see 12. below)
12. Assassin • 1d8 HD (see 14. below)

Roll on the backgrounds table 2 more times. 
If you rolled 1-6 for starting class, roll with +6 for the rest of your rolls on the background table.
(This means that you can't be multiple kinds of magic users, but you can be a magic user and a guy with a sword because that's cool. You can't have a magic die and a faith die because gods hate magic and demons will only give you one or the other.)

1. Made a pact with a Demon, roll a demon here to determine which one.
(+1 Magic Die, Demon Power, Curse, Occult Skill)

2. Joined a Religion, roll a god here to determine which one.
(+1 Faith Die, Ritual, Occult Skill)

3. Joined a Cult, roll a god here to determine which one.
(+1 Faith Die, Ritual, Occult Skill)

4. Joined a Wizard School, roll below to determine which one:
(+1 Magic Die, Arcane Secret, Occult Skill)
1. Tower of Zards, Random Spellbook.
2. Invisible School of Thaumaturgy, Invisibility or Minor Illusion Spellbook.
3. Spires to the Sun, Pyromancy Flame (Like a spellbook, can be used for Fireball or Control Flames)
4. Lunar Citadel, Time Slow Spellbook.
5. Got kicked out of a Wizard School (+1 Magic Die, Warlock Rite/Drawback, Outlaw, Occult Skill)
1. Necromancer / Ghoul Knight. Raise Dead, one of your organs is in a jar.
2. Biomancer. Mutate Monster, 1d4 Random Mutations.
3. Haruspex. Haruspicy (works like Portent in 5e), Random Affliction.
4. Neuromancer. Telekinesis, you can try to make people's heads explode: deal up to 6 MD in damage, save or take the same amount yourself, Random Insanity.
6. Became a Druid. (+1 Attack, Shapeshifting/at-will, Journey Skill).
Shapeshifting can give a number of different abilities from limited flight, to burrowing, to speaking to a certain kind of animal.)

7. You wandered the wasteland and met a companion. (Ranged Weapon, Animal Companion, Journey Skill)

8. You learned a fighting style. (+1 Attack, Melee Weapon, Fighting Style, Random Armor)
1. Cutter. Attack with disadvantage to cause bleed damage (1 damage per round until bandaged)
2. Duelist. Successful defense rolls always deal counter-attack damage.
3. Heavy Weapons. Attack with disadvantage to Cleave (target multiple adjacent enemies).
4. Chopper. Crit range increases by 1 (19-20, then 18-20, etc.) + all crits dismember.
5. Shield-Splitter. Attack with Disadvantage to sunder shields and armor.
6. Armor-Piercer. +1 vs heavily-armored enemies.
9. You were born or made a Knight. (+1 HP, costs 12g/month to keep your status. Chain Armor. Long Sword. Shield or Lantern. Allegiance to one of the powers below.)
1. Crow Knight (Malphas)
2. Frog Knight (Tsar Vodnik)
3. Ash Knight (Spires to the Sun)
4. Ghoul Knight (Grave King)
5. Dragon Knight (Dragon Kings)
6. Death Knight / Valkyrie (Hel, Lady of Death )
7. Solar Knight (Sun Emperor Solace/Muetarr)
8. Witch Knight (Queen of Zorn)
9. Lunar Knight (Luna, Moon-Queen)
10. Star Knight (The Punishing Star)
10. You learned to fight with fury. (+1 Attack, Melee Weapon, Rage: you must keep attacking to maintain the rage. Adv. on attack and disadv. on all defense rolls.)

11. You were a soldier (+1 Attack, +1 HP, Melee Weapon, Scars. If you want Scale Armor you must roll an Old Wound:)
1. Lost your eye.
2. Lost your hand.
3. Lost your foot.
4. Can't talk.
12. You learned some tricks from thieves. (Stealth & Hand skills as well as one of the things below:)
1. Cat Feet (reduce fall distance by 10ft)
2. Pack Rat (+3 inventory slots)
3. Scrounge (1/session, gain a random item when you dig through a pile of junk)
4. Case the Joint (Climbing gear, you know how to discern rough floorplans from looking through windows and observing a building)
5. Forge Documents (paper, pen and ink)
6. Poisoner (deadly herbs, vials, mortar and pestle)
13. You found, stole or inherited something. (Gain one Special Item below:)
1. Deed to a decrepit property (a tower, a house, etc.)
2. Crystal Ball. Can be used for Scrying but you risk revealing yourself to the wizard you stole it from.
3. Random spellbook, possibly cursed.
4. Random magic item.
5. Random Potion/Scroll.
6. 1d100 Gold.
7. Monster gut
14. You killed someone. (Melee Weapon, +1 Attack, Stealth skill, Sneak Attack: When you strike with advantage you deal an extra 1d6 damage.)

15. You found a heavy weapon. (+Attack, Crossbow, rifle, war-axe, halberd, claymore, etc.)

16. You killed a monster. (Ranged Weapon, Favored Enemy : +1 Attack and Damage against one type of creature)

17. You were mutated or cursed. (Roll a random mutation, +1 HP)

18. You're a trained Blacksmith (With the proper equipment you can forge weapons and armor for half the price of buying them pre-made, and you can repair sundered items. If you sharpen a weapon it will deal improved damage on its next attack.)

19. You're a skilled Cook (If you make rations they restore 1d8HP instead of 1d6. If you cook a full warm meal everyone gets an extra 1d6 temporary HP for the next 24 hours (max 1/day, costs 5g per person eating. You have a big iron pot and a wooden spoon.)

20. You're learned in the ways of Alchemy (You can identify herbs and other plants and combine them into potions. You also have a mortar and pestle, 3 bottles)

Roll 3 times. You also get a flint/steel, a torch, 3 rations,  and 3d6 gold.
1. Shield (+1 Armor)
2. Helmet (+1 Armor)
3. Crossbow + 10 Bolts
4. Lockpicks or Random Armor
5. Sack or 10ft. Pole
6. Lantern with 3 oils, or 5 torches.
7. Poison or Anti-Toxin
8. Bear-Trap or Net
9. Bedroll & Tent
10. 10ft. Chain or Shovel
11. Lock & Key or Caltrops
12. Mule & Cart or Small Chest
13. Crowbar or Iron Spikes & Hammer
14. Pot of Flame Oil or Holy Water
15. Mirror or Manacles
16. Grappling Hook or Spyglass
17. Map Fragment of Local Dungeon or Partial Treasure Map
18. Weapon of Choice
19. Random Potion
20. Random Scroll

ARMOR (Armor takes up Inventory slots equal to its bonus.)
1-10. Leather (+2 ARMOR)
10-12. Studded (+3 ARMOR)
13-15. Scale (+4 ARMOR)
16-18. Chain (+5 ARMOR)
19-20. Plate (+6 ARMOR)

Note: 2 handed weapons take up 2 Inventory Slots.
Melee Weapons:
1-5. Dagger 1d4, Concealable
6-8. Short Sword 1d6
9. Long Sword 1d8/1d10
10. Claymore 1d12, 2-handed
11. Hatchet 1d8
12. Axe 1d10
13. Great Axe 1d12, 2-handed
14. Spear 1d8/1d10, 2-handed
15. Halberd 1d12, 2-handed
16. Staff/Club 1d6
17. Warhammer 1d12, 2-handed
18. Flail 1d8
19. Mace 1d8
20. Scythe 1d8, 2-handed

Ranged Weapons:
1. Sling 1d4
2. Bow 1d6, 2-handed
3. Longbow 1d8, 2-handed
4. Crossbow 1d10, 2-handed

Rifles exist but are very uncommon. 1d12 damage, 2-handed, takes 1 round of doing nothing else to load.

5. Fill in the remaining blanks on your character sheet.

ATTACK = STR bonus or WIS bonus depending on if you are using a ranged or a melee weapon.


HP = Hit Die + CON bonus

INV. SLOTS = STR score, if you go over you'll have disadvantage on all physical things.

SKILLS: Skills are rolled 1d20, oftentimes trying to beat an opponents Ability Score. If you have a skill, you roll with advantage.
Journey - Used for tracking beasts, foraging, and other wilderness stuff.
Deception - Used for making people believe what you want them to believe.
Stealth - Used for moving silently.
Hand - Used for disabling traps, picking pockets and picking locks.

Ask the GM for spells, mutations, curses, afflictions, etc.

Note: A lot of this stuff is from Die Trying, Knave and Maze Rats!


This page is for Witches, Clerics & Cultists. Witches make pacts with Demons, while Clerics and Cultists worship a God or a Demon. If you consort with demons in any way, you will be given a Curse.

(These images are variously sourced from Kaiju movies, books about norse mythology, paintings of witches, public domain image websites, and a book about demons from the 1860s.)

Fenrir, Jormungandr, and Hel, the children of Angrboda.
 1. Fenrir (Ice Wolf)
Cold Claw: You can add [sum] cold damage to any attack or attempt to freeze (stun) your enemies (save allowed).
Curse: The head of a wolf, feel cold-as-warmth and vice versa, patchy white hair, maw of a wolf.

A witch of Jormungandr,
 wearing a snake as a necklace.

2. Jormungandr (World Serpent)
Ouroboros: You have a snake. It will eat it's tail at your command and grow very large in size, and attempt to devour all around it.
Curse: The head of a snake, eyes of a snake, legs turn to serpents.

3. Hel (Lady of Death, Guardian of the Underworld)
Glimpse of Death: Your touch allows another to see into the Underworld in order to speak with the dead, or just to scare the shit out of them (as Fear).
Curse: Blue skin, black wings, black eyes.

4. Angrboda (She-Who-Offers-Sorrow, Dark Side Moon Queen, Mother of Monsters)
Sorrow: Your touch reduces men to tears. Save allowed. (like the spell Sleep but they collapse sobbing.)
Curse: Blue skin, skin cratered like the moon, horns made of moon-rock, wolves flock to you (they won't harm you but they might harm those around you).

Marchosias appears as a fire spitting chimeric wolf with wings of a griffon and tail of a serpent.

5. Marchosias (Fire Wolf, Chimera)
Fire Breath: You can breathe fire for [sum] damage.
Curse: Snake-tail, head of a wolf, vestigial feathered wings, legs of a wolf.

Baphomet dancing with witches and tiny tiny frog man.
 6. Baphomet (The Goat)
Curse-Goat: If you sacrifice a goat a random spell or summoned beast will erupt.
Curse: Head of a goat, goat eyes, horns, legs of a goat.

7. Zobek (Lord/Lady of Shadows, Bat-Serpent)
Bat Wings: Your arms turn into huge bat wings for Lx10 minutes.
Curse: Head of a bat, head of a snake, tail of a snake, fangs, vestigial bat wings, serpents for legs, patchy bat fur, bat ears.

8. Bael (King of Hell)
Crown of Hell: Enemies must save or kneel for one round.
Curse: Extra head, head of a frog, head of a cat, spider legs.

9. Beezlebub (Lord of Flies)
Cloud of Rot: Transform into a putrid cloud of flies for Lx10 minutes.
Curse: Attract flies, vestigial insect wings, extra legs, extra eyes, can only eat carrion.

10. Sabnock (Pale Rider, War-Demon)
Beasts of War: If you feed a beast a weapon, it will fight for you as a hireling for [sum] days.
Curse: Head of a lion, can only eat worms, can never remove your armor.

11. Malphas (Lord of the Crow Knights)
Swarm of Crows or Speak to Crows: Transform into a swarm of crows for Lx10 minutes, or speak to crows. Crows always know rumors and will give valuable information in exchange for carrion.
Curse: Can only eat raw meat, head of a crow, vestigial black wings, taloned feet, constant twitch like a bird.

12. King Chimera
Create Chimera : Take a mundane animal, take another mundane animal, combine them into a monster which may or may not want to kill you.
Curse: Random animal part.

1d12 GODS
A Corpse Saints of Solace. 
A Paladin of Solace.
1. Solace, Dead God-Emperor of the Sun
Healing Light - Restore [sum] hit points.

2. The Cloud King
Lightning Blood - Anyone who hits you with a melee attack must save or take [sum] lightning damage.

King Anathemnon, The Iron Dragon King.

3. Iron Dragon King Anathemnon (Dragon Knights)
Ashes to Iron - Turn a pile of ash into any iron weapon, armor or tool, lasts Lx10 hours.

King Ghidora, The Golden Dragon King.

4. Golden Dragon King Ghidora (Dragon Knights)
Golden Chain - Gold chains burst out of the ground and immobilize the target. They get a save to resist. Can also be used to make chains.


5. Luna (God-Queen of Elves, The Moon)
Liquid Moonlight - Every full moon you can gather 1d6 bottles of Moonlight, which is not affected by gravity. You are able to swim in moonlight both at night and whenever you use one of the bottles.

6. Somnambulon (Lord of Sleep)
Dreamwalk - When you sleep you enter the dream-realm where you are incorporeal and can manipulate reality semi-at-will. You can meet other people who are sleeping. The Dream is a warped mirror of the waking reality. If you die in the dream realm you just wake up, but there are other dangers lurking there for you to beware of... Don't let anything follow you out of the dream.

7. Malog-Grace (Sunken King, God of Rivers, the Sea, the Underworld)
Drown - If you sink yourself into a well/lake/pond/sea/bathtub/puddle you may emerge in any well/lake/pond/sea/bathtub/puddle within an Lx6 mile radius.
Tsar Vodnik
8. Tsar Vodnik (God of Frogs, Lord of the Frog Knights)
Mud-Sleep - If you bury yourself in mud you can enter hibernation for long periods of time without needing to eat. Also you heal faster in this state.

9-12 VOID
Image result for space amoeba ganimes
Mol Ganimus

9. Mol Ganimus (Space Crab)
Cryogenic Shell - You can generate a thick chitinous shell around yourself. It's like a Tiny Hut, but it can also protect you from the vacuum of space. 1/Day.

10. Ogdru Zog (Space Squid)
Ink Tentacle - You can turn water into ink at will and summon tentacles from any pool of ink. Tentacles can deal 1d6 damage per round and ensnare opponents (STR save allowed).

11. The Punishing Star (Radiation-Messiah)
Star Fall - Like Feather-Fall but you turn into a ball of very hot, dense matter that explodes upon impact, creating a crater. You are unharmed, things in the crater are not.

Image result for godzilla biollante rose form

12. Biollante (The Death Flower)
Bloom - Your skin unfolds like the petals of a flower, revealing a new random mutation. After 24 hours the mutation will wilt and fall away, returning your body to normal.

Friday, August 9, 2019

Blood Moth!

You can get a PDF of my dungeon-zine, the Temple of the Blood Moth, here  at DriveThruRPG, and if you want a physical copy of the zine, hand-printed with a risograph and hand-stamped with a stamp, email me at jake butcher 2 at gmail dot com. (no spaces or anything).

Sunday, August 4, 2019

Bankers are Vampires and Vice Versa

It's like that but with vampires.

In every town there is a bank. You can put your gold there and no one can steal it. If you try to steal gold from the bank, good luck! They'll have insurance and they'll also try to get it back from you. They have everything money can buy.

Something you can learn about the bank that is a secret and not known by most: all banks employ at least one vampire. One of every bank's largest customers is always the area's vampire or vampire population.

This post was inspired by a thread on reddit i think where someone said "Bats are vampire hunters. Vampires are mosquitoes." It's a cool analogy/ecology model. If we take it to be true, Vampires become surprisingly numerous, but unlike IRL mosquitoes (most of the time) vampires are completely deadly on their own as well. If it wants to, a Vampire can move into town and bite the first three people he meets, and the ensuing bloodbath will consume the village. It happens more often than anyone realizes.

Every bank is a blood bank on the side at night. Invested gold is used to buy blood (stabler than gold, ethics don't apply to banks,) which is sold to the vampire community to turn a profit. No muss. No fuss. Humans are gathered by guards and highwaymen alike, through different channels. Vampires have a hand in every powerful organization in every town. Bandits, assassins, non-bloodborne plagues, and doctors are also often contributors to vampires whether they know it or not. Anyone who dies whose body isn't claimed will likely eventually get tossed to the vampire banks or the moth cult (same thing) for draining. After Draining the Vampires or the Cultists can toss it to Necromancers or whoever else can offer the highest price. Teeth make great fairies, you know.

Next time my players go to a village, there's going to be a bank and it will probably scare them.

Friday, August 2, 2019

Wounds & Healing (inspired by Die Trying)

I made new rules for critical hits, wounds, healing, and dying! The Death & Dismemberment table is like 75% stolen from Die Trying (which everyone should check out and throw their money at in whatever way they are able).

I also took a lotta inspiration from Cavegirl's horrible wounds post!

It's part of a work-in-progress patchwork/collaged zine of rules for my players. The zine currently includes rules for buying stuff in town, a lot of spells, random potion effects and some now-outdated character creation rules.

Here they are!

Goin' for a type of horrible ultra-violence somewhere between Scanners and Itchy and Scratchy.

Probably going to tweak these pages as I go. This zine might eventually be available online.

Image result for scanners head explosion art

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

The Titancorpse

This post will be an ongoing attempt to flesh out my campaign world. I'm going to edit it for a while until I have figured out what every named thing on this map is.

The part of the world pictures on this map the Titancorpse's back, (allegedly) and other parts of the planet are shrouded in mystery. This is the "known world". Some people debate these theories and argue that the earth is flat or a hollow sphere, or that the planet isn't dead. They are generally treated as wackos.

Failure Tolerated posted a thing about using this map for a campaign world and provided a very useful list of all locations, but I sorta messed with the territories/color coding. Red areas aren't Hothior outposts, they're just dungeons.

Territory Color Code:
Red=Hothior/Immer, the Dragon Kingdoms
Grey=Lered/Lor more commonly called the Eastern and Western Wizard Kingdoms.
Pale Pink=Mivior
Hot Pink=Rombune
Brown/Tan=Wild Lands/Lawless Druid Territory. These areas are populated sparsely by barbarians, druids, and beast people.

Individual Hex Color/Icon Code:Red=Dungeon
Green=Natural Wonders/Druid Monuments
White=Capital City
Skulls=Cemetery/Graveyard or Former Battlefield

Numbered Locations are Fortresses/Cities. Their number corresponds to their military power, net wealth, size/population,



  1. Spires of the Eternal : 
  2. Ider Bolis (5) [CAPITAL] : 
  3. Mires of the Sinking Kind : 
  4. Melting Star (Lake)
  5. The Great Forest : Homeland of the Fey Princes
  6. Neuth (Forest Region)
  7. Aws Noir (4) [Elfland Outpost) : Elven Holy City, said to contain a direct pathway to the Moon.
  8. The Gathering (Blasted Heath outpost)
  9. The Shunned Vale (Waste of Vah-Ka-Ka outpost)
  10. The Crag (Zorn outpost)


  1. The Pits of Thessalon (4) [CAPITAL]
  2. The Cursed Forest
  3. Shrieker’s Scrub
  4. Nithmere Mountains : Scary shit and weird dreams.
  5. Leeks : Vegetable forest, halflings live in the woods and are very welcoming and also very weird 
  6. The Mouth Pass (x2)

Pon : It rains all the time. 

  1. Border Forest
  2. Crow’s Nest (4) : The Crow-Demon Malphas roosts in the Crow's Nest with his order of Warlock-Knights. The Crow-Knights guard the Border Forest against threats in exchange for the tolerance of the _, the rulers of Pon.
  3. Split Rock Pass (x2)
  4. Fortress Marzarbo (4 [CAPITAL] : 
  5. The Scab :
  6. Heap in the Hills (2) : 
  7. Mountains of Ice : A couple of Ice Giants live here! Most of the rest of them live far in the north in the Polar Wastes, but a few maintain secret hidden outposts in the Mountains of Ice.

The Western Wizard Kingdom : Wizard Cops

  1. The Invisible School of Thaumaturgy (5) : Literally invisible to outside eyes, costs a lot of gold to 
  2. Well of Lered : Magical inland sea, full of monsters.
  3. High Marches

The Eastern Wizard Kingdom (Shards of Lor) : 

  1. Tower of Zards (6) : The Wizard of Zards is a senile but kind old man who has a keyring with a key to every door on the planet and most doors in the galaxy. There is a secret tunnel hidden in the mountains where a Giant Wizard has created an inverted mirror world of the circle of hexes around the Tower of Zards. This Giant hates all other Wizards and wants to destroy the Tower.
  2. Blown Over : Windy frigid moors, fallen trees and many boulders. Exiled failed wizards warped and mutated by spells gone awry live in the caves here.

Muetar : The Muetarran Empire is a powerful theocracy which worships a dead god of light.

  1. Pennol on the Lake (4) [CAPITAL] : A witch-prison sits a few miles off of the city on the lake. The Corpse Pope is here.
  2. Lake Carth : Where the Sunken King was drowned and dismembered.
  3. Plibba on the Plain (2) :
  4. Yando Rivermen : Heretic followers of the Sunken King dredge the rivers of the land for their god's dismembered body parts.
  5. Wind Swept Downs :
  6. Beolon on the Downs (1) :
  7. Groat (3) : City run by a Goblin who got really lucked and ended up becoming a Pope mostly by accident. Ironically, a better and less evil King than any other ruler in Meutar.
  8. The Wanderer (River) : 
  9. Tangle Root (Forest) : 
  10. Basimar (3) : 
Special Rules/Notes: All non-cleric magic and especially witchcraft is outlawed in Muetar. Any signs of magical corruption (horns, curses, etc.) are cause for you to be arrested and potentially executed on sight. You can't wear Wizard robes out in the open.

Hothior : The Southern Dragon Kingdom. Horrible medieval wasteland ruled by 3-headed Iron Dragon, King Anathemnon (imagine medieval Mecha Ghidorah).

  1. Por Lork (3) [CAPITAL] The Iron Palace of King Anathemnon, an impregnable fortress and a stockpile of the Dragon-King's collection of the most powerful weapons in the world.
  2. Tadafat on the River (2) : Ruled by the last surviving Dragon Eel, a very angry and very powerful dark sorcerer, and a sworn enemy of all Troll-kind.
  3. Bad Axe (Forest) Forest littered with rusted discarded weapons, rust monsters. Post-apocalyptic mad-max style machinations built from broken metal.
  4. The Ebbing (River) : River spirits dying from the poison of the forges.
  5. Flood Water (River) : 
  6. Castle Lapspell (3) : Forge Salamander rules here.
  7. Farnot Seafolk : Dragon-slayer wannabe pirates hide out in this town.
Special Rules/Notes: All non-dragons are second class citizens in the Dragon Kingdoms. In the Capital the non-slum areas of the city require non-dragons to be accompanied by an escort at all times. Every City in the Dragon Kingdoms is ruled by a lesser dragon or lizard beast.

 Immer : The Northern Dragon Kingdom. Horrible medieval wasteland ruled by 3-headed Golden Dragon, King Ghidorah (imagine King Ghidorah). Post-Arthurian hellhole. 

    1. Wild Wood : Druids
    2. Gorpin Woodsmen : Villages hidden from the Dragon-king's gaze are guarded by the Gorpin Woodsmen, who train their most talented young to become dragon-slayers (this is really just an elaborate human sacrifice ritual, no one has ever come close to killing the Dragon King or any of his guards.)
    3. Lone Wirzor (2) : Ghidorah's son rules/is imprisoned here. He is a gold-scaled snakeman with 6 heads and he hates his father.
    4. Frosted Downs : Fields of snow-like ash from all the dead burned by the Dragon Kings.
    5. Caslte Altarr (3) [CAPITAL] : Golden palace of King Ghidorah. Golden Dragonborn are the noble caste, everyone else is a desperate peasant. Most of everyone lives underground, the entire hex is the palace, which is made of huge rooms big enough to fit the 1000 foot long Dragon.
    6. The Gap Castle (2 x2) : Wyvern Lady lives here and wishes to be Queen.
    7. Muscaster (3) : Basilisk Lord rules here and wishes to be King.
    8. Lowlands : Peasant territory.
    9. Dungeons: Lone Wirzor, Temple of Kings
    Special Rules/Notes: All non-dragons are second class citizens in the Dragon Kingdoms. In the Capital the non-slum areas of the city require non-dragons to be accompanied by an escort at all times. Every City in the Dragon Kingdoms is ruled by a lesser dragon or lizard beast.

    Mivior : Storm Giants rule here! Those who get struck by lightning and survive become heroes and leaders. Lots of sea monsters.

    1. Colist (4) [CAPITAL] : Ruled by Queen 
    2. The Shining Isle of Boliske (3) :
    3. Shaker Mountains
    4. Boran on the Moor (1) : 
    5. Addat At Surf’s End (2) : 
    6. The River Sullen

    Rombune: Full of weird shit from space. 

    1. The Golkus (3) [CAPITAL]
    2. Thores on the Rock (5) : The strongest of Rombunes three fortresses.
    3. Faces to the Sea
    4. The Sunken City of Parros (2) : The Holy City of Ogdru Zog, the Squid God, and is supposedly a gateway into the furthest depths of the ocean and the depths of space. Ravaged long ago by a War between the followers of the Punishing Star and the followers of Ogdru Zog, the city has never been fully restored to its former glory. It is also where the Sunken King, god of the sea and the underworld, perished.
    5. Crater of the Punishing Star : A long time ago, a star crashed into the planet containing a being who would eventually come to be known as a hero to some, a messiah to others, and a despicable warlord to many more. This man is called the Punishing Star and he came to this planet to wage an inquisition, cleanse the planet of sin, and eventually established the Empire of the Sun, Muetar.

    The Fallen Troll Kingdom : Most of the Trolls died in the Eelwar. All bridges have a Troll.

    1. Trollwood
    2. The Stone Face (1) [CAPITAL]
    3. High Marches
    4. Serpent Bay : Where all of the Dragon Eels were killed by the Troll King.

    Shucassam : Desert Kingdom of the Pyromancers. Sorcerer Kings duel for power and Warrior Poets compose odes about the ruins.

    1. Zefnar on the Sea (3) : Zefnarian Pyromancers manipulate steam and fly.
    2. Kuzdul (4) : Kuzdul Pyromancers run forges in volcanoes and manipulate magma.
    3. Dry Mountains
    4. Jipolis (2) : The Pyromancers of Jipolis still worship the sun and the stars. The most powerful Fireball spell in existence is guarded here.
    5. Walled City of Adeese (3) [CAPITAL] : Adeesean Pyromancers have armies armed with gun-like combustion wands and manipulate ash and smoke.
    6. Sea of Zett
    Every City in Shucassam has its own Pyromancy School.

    The United Dwarven Mountainhomes : 

    1. Mines of Rosengg (5) [CAPITAL] : Where the Dwarves mine magical stone of many colors and many different effects.
    2. Alzak (4) : Connected to Mines of Rosengg by extensive and densely populated underground pathways.
    3. Barriorr Mountains
    Haunts of the Lepers (Blasted Heath Outpost)

    The Sea of Drowning Men

    Mermaids "rule" this vast sea. Rule mostly just means that kill and eat anyone who falls in the water. Far to the West, the sea flows into the river Acheron which takes you into the underworld.


    1. Huts of the Scum (Dungeon) : Subterranean mutant cannibal doppelgangers.
    2. Stubstaff Keep (3) (Banished Lands Outpost)
    3. Isle of Fright (Sea of Drowning Men Outpost)
    4. Lost City of Khos (Pon Dungeon)
    5. Altars of Grey Staff (Blasted Heath Dungeon) : Grey Staff was a Pyromancer who wielded Ash-Bringer, a weapon capable of incredible destruction and renewal. Here, an order of Pyromancer-Knights study his teachings.
    6. Spires to the Sun (Shucassam/The Withering Dungeon) : Holy City of the Pyromancers, now overrun with Solar Angels from Space.
    7. Choked in Snow Pass (Zorn/Immer Dungeon)
    8. The Gap Castle (Zorn/Immer Dungeon)
    9. The Temple of Kings (Zorn/Immer Dungeon)
    10. Winter Rest (Zorn Dungeon)
    11. Ozerg Mountaineers (Zorn Dungeon)

    Mysterious Locations in the Wildlands:

    Wild Reaches
    Sacred Stones
    River Rapid
    The Unknown Army
    Eastern Waste
    The Breaking
    The River Sullen
    Forest of the Lurking
    Western Waste
    Witches’ Kitchen
    The Creeping Forest
    The Wasted Dead
    Shadow Wood
    Blasted Heath
    Worn Downs
    Field of the Laughing Dead
    The Withering : Holy Pyromancers made contact with the Solar God at the Spires to the Sun, and realized that he was slowly burning the world like an ant in a magnifying glass. The Withering is a stretch of desert which has begun to burn, blacken, and melt.
    Forbidden Oasis
    Waste of Vah-Ka-Ka
    Field of White Bones
    The Banished Lands
    The Deep
    Waterless Downs
    Thorn Flats

    Monday, June 10, 2019

    Session 1 - Squid, Goats, & Necromancers

    Last summer I ran a sandbox campaign for my buddies using the hexcrawl map from Divine Right. We left off with everyone splitting up after attempting to sabotage the meeting of a powerful crime boss/Lich (named Lord Gorthus) and the demon lord Moloch (leader of the dreaded Marble Knights). Everyone fled, the whole thing ended with a messy street fight. I'm running a new campaign in the same world this summer which I hope will improve upon the successes of the last one, and hopefully fix some of the problems I was having.

    I've been pretty continually dissatisfied with how I've been running cities, but the wilderness/hex exploration part of the game last summer was some of the most fun I've ever had in my short years running games since high school. I also want to use more dungeons.

    List of Things I want to get better at/work on in this campaign:
    - Running Cities
    - I'm writing my own system, so I'm definitely gonna be testing that out.
    - Random Encounter Tables

    I think the part that the players seem most excited about is the world-buildy stuff, they really like learning about the world, so I want to get better at giving them that kind of information and story.

    I was really excited about the new character creation rules, but my players didn't really want to use them? I think I didn't explain them super well and everyone's more used to character-creation as a minigame in 5e while this system is meant to randomize as much as possible while also hopefully creating a sort of rough procedural narrative about the character's backstory:

    and here's the new character sheet:

    It's still a little bit sketchy. There's some dead negative space in the inventory and spells area that I may box out for character portraits. There are a few things that could use a little explanation in the margin space underneath them.

    I think there was generally a little bit of reticence on my players' part about using new rules at all, which I understand, I definitely have been in games where the GM was using homebrew and it sort of felt like more of an indulgence than a boon, but at the same time, this is what's fun for me and I'm putting in a substantial amount of effort to make the rules fun for the players too so hopefully they'll recognize that. It's a work in progress, but I think it's off to a good start!

    New houserules include contested combat from Last Gasp and a Divine Magic system like the one used in GLOG i think. You get a Faith Die (either from just being a cleric or a paladin or from praying in a temple if you're just a believer) that you can use to cast a Divine Power given to you by your god. Witches get a similar thing from the Demon they make a pact with.

    I'm gonna write another post compiling the basic rules for this system.

    The Characters:
    Spud, a rogue who operates a mostly cannibalistic butcher shop which is probably in gratuitous violation of every health code imaginable (played by Hannah)
    Kürig Cüp, a grimy, grave-robbing, Goblin rogue (played by Greg)
    Claude, a Witch and the owner of a very dusty and currently mostly empty magic shop (played by Marius)
    Squaml (or Sam), a kindly Paladin of the alien Squid-God Ogdru Zog (played by Tara)

    We started in Thessalon, the City of Pits, an anarchic metropolis of towers and crumbling fortresses reclaimed and converted into shanty-towns and patchwork buildings. The city has a high population of both Witches and the Demons with whom they make their pacts. I think I'll describe the city in more detail in a future post, for now, here's the map.

    Truncated Session Report:
    Squaml intervened in a street fight between a group of Ink Fishermen and Goatmen. One of the Goat-Men cut the throat of a goat and a swarm of snakes poured out of the wound to attack the crowd. Tara then investigated the grave of a woman named Sybil Clover. The squid-in-a-jar told the Paladin to find a garden, and he found strange magenta flowers growing from the grave of Sybil. He investigated at the Corpse-Merchant’s office and found out she was a witch who died 75 years ago, and later made a deal to have Stinky dig up her grave.

    Stinky saw a Necromancer in the Grave Gardens and made a plot to kill him to take his stuff which technically eventually worked. This involved hiring an Axeman named Ogden who I am very happy to have around because roleplaying a friendly NPC guy with an Axe feels a lot like just being a player.

    Things I Learned:
    -Using random tables at the table kind of sucks like 40% of the time. It slows things down. Super helpful for names and other stuff. Gotta get better at pre-generating more of the randomness ahead of time.
    -Also Maze Rats might just be the best DMG ever written. I just wish the lists were numbered so it was easier to roll on them as tables.
    -I need to make cities work more like wilderness. When I started using the random encounter table for the city every time people moved around, that was pretty good, but it worked even better when I started figuring out locations. I think that just making a list of taverns, banks, libraries, graveyards, mansions, etc. in the city would really help. Only need a very loose idea to work it into a session.